Monster Soup

Panel 4: The vampire shown here isn’t based on any particular character. The one carrying the human, however, could be either Buffy & Angel, Sookie & Bill, or Elena & Stefan (from the books). Now the vampire with the toilet paper; it’s common knowledge among vampire fans that they don’t need to use the bathroom, unless it’s to take a bath (probably to rinse off all the blood). Then again, some vampires are seen eating human food. This would mean they would have a need for toilet paper. The vampires I write about, on the other hand, can’t ingest human food, and their bodies waste nothing when it comes to blood. Thus no need for ‘da TP. So you’ve probably heard the saying, “Do bears shit in the woods?” Well, my reverse to that, “Do vampires shit?” No, my friend, they do not.

(I can’t believe I went on that long about vampires and toilet paper.)

Additional Thought: “Do werewolves shit in the woods?” Why yes, yes they do.