Page 17 – List
Sol hasn’t been seen eating or drinking, but he loves the scent of tea and actions of holding a cup.
Some personal news. I think the Friday food drop from the local food bank is over for me. They stopped allowing people to come inside and pick out what foods they wanted. There was apparently an “altercation at the door” a few weeks back, and they switched to this method as a response. Now they only give one box per car. The thing is, I don’t drive, so I ride there with someone else, and we would get food as two separate households. But now with the one box per car, there’s really no reason for me to go there on Fridays. This also caused another issue. I have a diet I stick to for health reasons, and the food they gave us today?
Out of all of this, I kept the deli turkey meat, eggs, carrots, almonds, and salads (which I had to toss out anyway, they were brown, slimy, and smelt off). I’m not a fan of chicken wings, and that big package of meat is “pork neckbones.” (I’ve cut way back on red meat for cholesterol reasons, so no pork for me.) I really wish the Milo’s tea was unsweetened, but it’s “extra sweet.” And those Swiss Cake Rolls? When I was a kid, I could eat a whole box in a day. I love those things. Seeing them now, and feeling terrible about all of this, I want to say “Fuck it” and rip open that box. But I can’t. My health is more important. Self-discipline sucks, especially when it feels like I’m getting punished for how others behaved. I keep hearing that depressing saying play over in my head, “Beggars can’t be choosers.” But I can still choose not to eat the junk food.
I still appreciate what the food bank does for the community, and they even have clothing distribution once a month I go to occasionally. It’s that… I’m in an awkward place where I want to be careful about what I eat, yet being in that poverty range, it’s a strange balance/struggle.
A new computer issue cropped up since the last update. I think the previous NVIDIA driver update was causing my graphics card to crash at least once a day. It was the wonderful “white screen of death.” I grabbed the newest update and hopefully the issue was fixed. (fingers crossed) Since this started happening around the time of the faulty USB hub, I thought it was connected. But so far, so good, again.
EDIT: I spoke too soon. My graphics card crashed again. I got two white screens and one pink this time. 😑 At this point, I don’t know what to do but live with it.
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